Been a while!
Sometimes you just have to disappear for a while, work on yourself and return unrecognizable.
Healing. Forgiving. Forgetting
Let go, focus on your present and the future!
Apologize if you’re holding any grudges and ask for forgiveness if needed!
Forgive the actions of those that hurt you and release the struggle!
Unresolved issues can drain your reserves, cause hurt feelings, fill you with regret, or tax your tenacity and it can be very difficult to reconcile things which have happened in the past especially when you can’t change the past but at the same time, everyone should learn to accept them and be grateful for going through them. It is only through letting go of the past, one can lead to a happier fulfilling life. You should bear in mind that every little thing from the past has shaped you into who you are today.
Are you not ready to enjoy peace?
Some of us have lived through traumatic life events. Some have been able to find true and lasting healing from these personal tragedies and have been able to make peace.
While I personally struggled for months searching for ways to set myself free from past hurts and coming to terms with it I realized I just had to reconcile in order to restore peace, regain balance of body, mind, emotion and spirit.
It’s either we forget a tragic event or we don’t. There’s a difference between reconciling and forgetting. The tragedy and the journey through suffering and healing changes and transforms us significantly. When we use the experience of our personal pain and healing we have much to offer others. Remembering and being able to recall the event, without being attached to the “emotional load” is indeed a sign of healing. When we can use our own difficult past circumstances to help another, the ability to remember what that was like is a gift we offer another as they move along their own journey of pain and healing.
I remember vividly one night when I posted the link to my last blog post; I wouldn’t call her a friend she’s more like a sister and I’m sure she’ll love to remain anonymous. She replied my WhatsApp status after reading the article and used her difficult past circumstance to help me, it took her 10months to heal from a relationship of 2years and four months.
I remember she told me how she struggled for 10 months trying to forget him and she said to me
You’ll be fine, it’s a process, the pain will go, you’ll heal Tofunmi it’s just a matter of time.
If you’re reading this just know that night meant everything to me and since then I loved you more.
To heal, we must find ways to reclaim the personal power we lost and by forgiving we can reclaim the power. Forgiveness cannot happen at the beginning of our healing journey. It can only take place after many other pieces of the healing process have been put into place.
Life is a journey of a thousand miles full of happy moments and down times. Life could be about griefs, satisfaction and regrets. What matters is your potential to reach the balance needed so that you can smoothly move on. You don’t have to punish yourself for past mistakes, you should rather forgive yourself and learn lessons from these previous mistakes and come up with new resolutions in order to act differently in the future. This way, peace comes from accepting what was for what it was and moving on. You can always find a peaceful place inside you to make peace with your past and to become the person you always wanted to be.
At some point I felt the whole reconciling thing was pointless because whenever I remember or someone makes me to, all I felt was anger, hatred and regrets. The whole period was difficult because I wasn’t myself at all honestly. A lot of things went wrong. I made a lot of shitty decisions.
Basically my whole life was a mess.
I wasn’t true to everybody and even myself. This affected me in all areas but then I was trying to find peace of mind innit and it wasn’t coming forth because everyone and everything around brought back memories. I needed my own space. I needed to be alone; I craved peace just like how I crave pounded yam.
Ps: that’s my best food
I wanted everyone out because I needed time to think and rethink and draw up conclusions because everything I was doing was wrong. I refused to go out with anyone, but I couldn’t get to run away and be alone because of school.
I remember one of my friends celebrated her birthday I wasn’t going to go but if I didn’t she was going to be very mad at me so I went and best believe I cried and cried there because the environment brought back memories which I was trying to forget and get over. She consoled me, they all did. It was at this point I felt embarrassed and embarked on my reconciliation journey and I told myself I wasn’t going to cry again and I would just forget everything and move on finally.
The night came i was in my Fathers house and everything kept coming back like a trance, it was there and then I cried my last tears.
I deleted everything on my phone that had to do with my past and I forgave myself and was willing to sincerely forgive the other person my past.
This was the beginning of my healing process. I loosened up, I felt the heavy burden off my chest so I was relieved a lot. I could think better and precise. I still maintained the happy figure in the outside world but truth is people never know what you go through until you tell them.
This year has been the darkest of my life. A lot of lessons learned, I can never forget them because they’ve shaped me to become a better version of myself and I’m glad I went through them now I understand when people say Life is not a bed of roses 🌹. Sometimes it can be smooth, it might be a very hard journey sometimes but we all have to go through that one thing that would reshape us.
Y’all might think as a 19 year old this wasn’t supposed to get to me but trust me I’m a 19 year old who thinks deeply.
I think I’ll just stop here for now.
I finally found peace of mind and I’m happy.
Read my last post Here
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Love and xo
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