Sometimes parents need to think about giving their teenagers a little bit more freedom, space and understanding. If we are trusted, then we feel more independent and grown up. Whenever I get told off by my dad, he gives me these really long lectures. Seriously, they are so long that by the end of them I can’t even remember what we were talking about. When it comes to my mum, she’s much more short and snappy. Mum is softer than my dad, dad is more strict but I’d still rather be told off by my dad even if he sends us off to sleep with a lecture. They remember the way they grew up and think it’s still the same, but it’s not. Now, we have mobiles, so it’s easier to keep in contact. All they can do is just make sure we are aware of the consequences. They obviously can’t go everywhere with us.

When talking to us about sex, they shouldn’t scare us and go into details because we already learned the basics at school. I remember there was a time my Dads mum told me that if I touch a boy while on my period I’ll get pregnant oh my goodness I believed because I was still very young. They made me believe that. They deceived me but while growing up I learnt a lot of things that they could have explained better.

I wasn’t really close to my mum until I got admission into Unilag. It would have been much better you know but they never tell us the real truth rather they make us scared. But recently my mum talked about being with someone. She told me to be sensible, not take risks. I realised she has faith in me, which makes me act better and I have to live up to it. It’s all about balance. We have to know we can talk to our parents about anything.

Parents don’t understand the pressure on teenagers in terms of money too. I’ve got so many clothes, but want more. Shops update their collections all the time and my mum doesn’t understand that I have to have the new look. Even pocket money is spent on cinema tickets, going to see friends, and it’s gone then I see a new top pfffffft. It was way easier for them when they were teenagers.

There’s a lot of pressure now about body image, especially the girls. I feel our Parents should sit us down and make us see reasons why we should appreciate our body no matter the type. Then it’s up to us to listen and not let the pressures of instagram and other social medias where we see a lot of ladies on their pages with their God given perfect body; but we shouldn’t let this weigh us down and start having different thoughts. Be proud of your body type.

God has a reason for creating each and everyone of us the way we are. I won’t lie I get obsessed checking different pages of girls if I should start listing them here you’ll be wowed that I check too but I realised that there’s no gain in checking over and over then having different thoughts filled in my head. I’m of the small size and I’m proud of it. I’m not even interested in getting fat anymore like I’ve always wanted to so let’s all try to appreciate our body more. We are works of art.

Crammed schedules, juggling school, sports, after-school activities, social life and family obligations also matter. Our parents think that we are wasting our time, especially on electronic devices and social networks, worry about us being online, but we have grown up with the internet; it’s just us talking to each other and they fail to realise we are doing something more productive with them.

They also worry about us girls, going out with boys, and wearing provocative clothing but maybe it would be more helpful if boys were told how to behave with girls instead. Like my Dad now he likes me being simple with my hairstyle but I’m actually not the simple type and trust me I’ve not even started. Everyone close to me would have noticed how I like the length of my hair. That’s just how I am and I’m not actually influenced by others which my Dad thinks I am anyways. I just feel they should let us be free and it’s actually better if we do all these when they’re actually with us rather than doing it at school then coming back home looking like a saint.

Also in our career decisions they have to let us make our own decisions about university. It’s so expensive that it’s not worth pushing them to do law because you wanted to do law. (Yes I’m shaking tables πŸ˜’).

They should talk to us casually, not all raging and exaggerating the issue on things like drinking, relationship, everyone does it. It’s not a new thing and it’s just part of being a teen.

Despite what the media say, teens aren’t bad. We are not #lazynigerianyouths. We have goals and know about current affairs and how we can change things. We might not watch the news, but we find stuff out on the internet. I believe they should set boundaries with us, but also let us do our own thing. Make sure we have awareness, rather than saying we can’t do something. Don’t be too strict, because then we won’t tell you anything. I know people who’ve gone down that route. Once it starts, we become more distant and then there’s no way back.

My mum is my best friend and your mum should be yours too❀.

What’s your take on teenage pressure in the society and at home?

Do you feel you can tell your mum almost anything?

Should drinking in the presence of one’s parents be encouraged?

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  1. Nice piece of work, Tofunmi. Parents can always advise not take the overall control of affairs of their teenagers.

  2. Beautifully written, some errors though but I absolutely understand what you’re trying to pass across.

    I believe in Africa we have gotten the parenting wrong, we don’t understand how to communicate with our kids. But then again this is Africa every parent believe their kids should live by some moral standard so they don’t bring shame to the family. Here in Africa we live in community rather than individuals

    I think parent should allow their kids to be independent but again, parents are more experienced and life is about experience, we know a lot but they understand better. Parents are like guide. We need to balance it and also communicate I think that’s how I’d run my family. Let my kids be outspoken, listen to them, understand them, let them trust me, but as a father always be a guide, advice them and tell them they got this as long as they believe in themselves.

  3. I agree with you but then, this “freedom” has its downside and even the protectiveness has its downside too..
    For male kids, parents are more relaxed in rules and regulations but for females, it’s not so and we both know why 😽..

    Anyhow it is, it’s for a while yeah and not permanent so till then, children should stand up to responsibilities and challenges of adulthood πŸ”₯

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